hmm. i tink im having extreme mood swings. one moment, my vision turns blurry ( u shld noe wad tis means), the other moment, i can just luff like shit n be high dere myself. and den, baq to great depresssion mode. its terrrible.
firstly. it feels realli bad to have no money. ive nvr felt like dat b4. its tough. alot of pressure.
next. it feels bad to not hav ur mom trust u.
next. its terrible to cry urself to slp.
and many many more.
u noe wad. i switched my fone off early yesterday due to my dammit mood swings. and den i went to watch tv for a while. and den my mom started telling me all the bullshit again and she doesnt believe i stayed in skl these days. she wants me to draw up a timetable to show her wad tym i will be baq and why. so dumb rite. she doesnt trust me at all. den i gt so screwed up friigin angry n i dunno why my eyes became teary. and den i told my mom n dad nites and i went to my bed. i was lying dere crying luh. its realli sad. i dunno why i was crying. i could feel the enormous pressure laa. terrible i tell u. den i lked out of the window. the only ting accompanying me. sharing my dammit mood. is the mood. it was shining on me. it was shining on me to slp. the feeling is really terrible. i dunno why but it feels like everyting i do is wrong. everyting i touch is screwed up. its bad. its this horrible feeling you wouldnt want to have. its horrible. u noe how it feels like. it feels like u want to slp ur life away. it feels like u wanna give up everyting. everyting including ur education and go lead sum simple life in a cotttage sumwhere in the mountains by the sea and stuffs like dat. its terrible. i feel like lying on sum shoulder till the next morning. i feel like kicking my pillows and bolster n throw some baby's tantrums. its horrible. i just feel like i dun wanna care my life animore. and just hand it to sumone else to help me take care of it. its so friigin screwed up.
i really feel very screwed up can. i noe tis sounds stupid n retarded but idun care. im past caring abt all tis friigin bullshit already. if it weren't for the ppl living i mite hav already jumped off the damn building. i dunno luh. tis whole ting sucks. its like the world is falling on me. im dying. i realli wan some shoulder i dunno why. wadever. i carn be bothered anymore.
bye.
