hmmms.
tok abt wad jol n me said tdy n wad i just kena reminded of. wich is well the same ting.
jol asked me if i was envious of N1 n N2. i said abit. she said she envy them alot. well. i guess the simplicity of their relationship is one ting i envy abt tem. well maybe oso the small lil tings he does for her. waiting for her everyday after skl and walking her hme without fail, at least to the interchnge. taking the initiative to help carry her books.
ohh a pity he didnt help her carry her bag. wahaha. and maybe also because he folded her 2 straw hearts.
yes i noe its no big but these small lil tings shows bits of sweetness. hmmm oh ya. i folded straw hearts again. tis tym wif a pack of 100 straws. apparently i wanted the nice gt colour ones. budden dat ntuc onli sells deir own brand wich is rather plain. red n white dat type de. but as i was addicted n couldnt do without folding straws. i bought it. wahah. finished doing it liao. wahaha.
oh n tdy wen i was on my way hme. it rained. and
i stood in the rain. just like dat. i tried to drag my feet along but it took so much determination and strength cos i very much felt like drowning myself in the rain. letting the droplets of the cold and the unfeeling fall on me. i have been wanting to just cry lately. but it wasnt easy. perhaps, the unfeelingness of the rain can bring about the tears. even if it couldnt, it would fall on my cheeks. trickle down my cheeks, just like the warm tears filled with feelings, but somehow different. it is never the same anymore. when i see the rain, when i look up to the sky and the grey clouds, when i hear the thunder, and see the lightning. it just feels different. coz i used to be indifferent abt the weather. but now, it affects me so. in the presence of bad weather, i wanna drown my myself in it, i just wanna feel more negative. and in the presence of good weather, i envy the elements of such weather. the wind, the sun, the blue clouds and esp the stars. i want the star up dere coz i can nvr be the star, i wanna ride on the blue clouds coz i nvr felt like i was on the clouds before, i feel like travelling on the clouds to the sun so that the sun can make me bright and take away my gloominess, i wanna stand in wind so tht it can try to take away my sadness along with it. its all just not so positive now.wo zhe de mei yi ge xin dai biao wo dui ni de si nian.
